


Bad Days

by the_only_education_worth_having



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Catharsis, Depression, Established Relationship, F/M, Medication, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Relationship Problems, Self Care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 10:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16094111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: Peter helps the reader get through the day





	Bad Days

**Author's Note:**

> Cathartic piece

‘Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now, leave a message,’ Y/N’s sweet voice rang out through the speaker of his phone filling his silent room for the fourth time. It wasn’t like her not to answer, especially if she knew it was him. But once again as he hit her number on his phone and allowed it to ring for a short period he was met once again with her voicemail service. He didn’t know why she wouldn’t answer or why she had missed school. Her brother said she wasn’t feeling good, but illuminated no further leaving Peter in the dark.

He didn’t have to see her. No couple had to see each other every day but surely some communication was normal. Even if it was just to check in. People needed space sometimes he go that but some communication is key, right?  
He didn’t need to bother her. He’d call her first thing though, to make sure she was okay.

8 agonisingly long hours later he was up and dressed for school though thoroughly underprepared for the day as all he could think about was Y/N. He messaged her before bed to no avail and rung her a couple of times early morning. He was not surprised that when he got to school he was greeted by everyone but his girlfriend. She was nowhere to be seen and her friends didn’t know why either. Lesson by lesson his worry grew until he snapped and by the time the bell rang for lunch he found himself hurtling to his car to drive over to her house.

It didn’t take him long and before he knew it he was stood in front of her yellow front door rapping the old knocker gently. He heard movement from inside as her dog kicked up a fuss and was gently shooed away from the door. A minute later it opened and revealed a shabby Y/N still dressed in pyjamas her hair scraggled back in disarray.  
‘Peter,’ she said with slight shock, ‘what are you doing here?’  
‘Hey to you.’  
‘Hey,’ she said. ‘Shouldn’t you be in school?’  
‘Shouldnt you?’ she asked snappily.  
‘I just came on my lunch break because for some reason you’ve been ignoring me and because I was worried about you…evidently for no reason,’ he muttered before turning around and heading down her path. That was until he heard her call for him faintly and when he turned around saw her stood on the edge of her porch looking forlorn.

‘Come in… if you want,’ she said before slipping back inside and pushing to door to allowing him to decide which of course he did and was inside the house like a shot. He followed her upstairs the both of them tiptoeing in silence though they were the only ones around. She moved into her room and flopped down on the bed and he went to too but his attention was captured by other things. Namely her room.

Her quaint well-decorated room was sometimes messy but never much. Now, however, it was chaotic. Clothes, books, pens and general rubbish scattered the floor. Her desk had no blank space and there was a trail from the bed to the door. Crisp packets and chocolate wrappers overflowed from the bin and surrounded her bedside table.

‘What happened here? Looks like a bomb went off,’ he said moving past the mess and sitting down beside her leaning against the headboard and allowing her to move her head onto his legs. He stroked her hair as she did and found it knotty and messy in its bun.  
‘Just been busy,’ she murmured, ‘and tired.’  
‘Jake said you hadn’t been well.’  
‘I’m not.’  
‘What’s up?’  
‘It’s complicated,’ she sighed, ‘you wouldn’t get it.’  
‘Try me.’  
‘Pete-‘’ she said but she stopped and the two fell into silence before eventually, she spoke again.  
‘You know when we first started dating and I mentioned that junior year I saw a counsellor and things for stress?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘Well, I sort of see a therapist too.’  
‘Okay,’ he said not understanding

 

‘When Jake said I’m not well he’s right but not like the flu or stomach bug or something sick. I’m depressed,’ she said earnestly awaiting his reply. He didn’t know what to say. They’d never really spoke about things like that despite being deep and everything with each other. She moved from lying down and sat up looking him in the eye as she said, ‘now you don’t have to say anything and please don’t be worried about me. I’m getting help, I have been for a while but the stress of finals and other things just got on top of me. My therapist suggested taking a few days off to recuperate that’s all.’  
‘And that’s why you ignored me?’ He asked though, his tone wasn’t nasty it was just one that was trying to understand.

Y/N shifted slightly as she sighed softly before saying, ‘no that was me. I didn’t mean to worry you and ignoring people and being alone with my thoughts probably isn’t the best idea in all honesty but the idea of trying to keep up a conversation right now is exhausting.’  
‘Oh,’ he said.  
‘Not with you! With anyone,’ she explained, ‘it takes me all my time to get out of bed. I’ve been setting myself tasks every day. Simple ones. Today was get out of bed and eat breakfast which I managed. Now I’m trying getting dressed and washing. Texting you back was next on my list.’  
Peter smiled and said, ‘tick that off your list then. Do you want me to leave or can I help?’  
Y/N pondered for a moment but then came to a decision as she said, ‘stay. If you don’t mind doing nothing…’  
‘Of course not. How about we try your second task of the day though first?’  
She sighed and nodded before leaning forward and pecking him on the cheek, ‘I’ll be back soon okay.’

Peter nodded and sat back on the bed as she left and fiddled around the bedside table for the remotes to her TV and flicked it on. The shower in her ensuite flicked on as he did. If truth be told he didn’t know exactly what to do. He’d heard of depression and things like that but he’d never been taught about what happened or how to actually help someone. Looking at the state of her room he made a snap decision and tidied the rubbish away into a spare carrier bag and moved all the clothes to one side of the room in an orderly heap. It wasn’t perfect but it was better and he hoped he hadn’t overstepped the mark. When she appeared she took in the room and smiled before moving over and clambering onto the bed to lie next to him.

‘What do you want to watch?’ he asked.  
‘Anything,’ she said.  
‘What about that new series we saw the trailer for the other day, what was if called- ‘  
‘No…nothing new. Just a rerun or Big Bang theory or something.’  
He murmured in agreement and stuck Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Netflix. They lay in amicable silence though if his mind could be heard it would be louder than a jet engine with the number of questions buzzing around in his head.  
‘How was your shower?’  
‘Good. Couldn’t be bothered washing my hair though, I’ll do that tomorrow. Thanks for my room by the way,’ she said looking up at him and Smiling.  
‘No problem,’ he said bashfully, ‘to be honest I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.’  
‘Pete,’ she sighed sitting up and placing a hand on his chest, ‘it’s not your job to do anything!’  
‘But I’m your boyfriend. I should help.’  
‘You always help. This helps. Look today and yesterday have been bad days. There’s nothing you can do on bad days. They come along and knock you for six sure, but they go…eventually.’  
‘What do you do though? On bad days.’  
‘Sleep. Take my tablets. Set my targets. There’s not a lot I can do.’  
‘What can I do? To help? To fix it?’  
‘Nothing. This. Sleep next to me. Tidy my room. Run your hands through my greasy hair like nothings wrong,’ she chuckled as she stroked his face.  
‘That sucks. I just want to make it better. Fix it.’  
‘I know me too. My mom doesn’t know how to help. My therapist gives me those little techniques and my meds help. But just being there helps. Watching reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and talking is fine.’  
‘Really?’  
‘Yeah just understand that I’m not going to be like I usually am but that this isn’t forever. Okay?’  
‘Okay.’

Peter was used to fixing things. Peter had stepped up as the man of the house when his dad left. He was captain of the lacrosse team and leader of school spirit. Sitting back and doing nothing wasn’t his style. But for Y/N he would do anything. Even if it were the bare minimum. There was one thing Peter knew. He wasn’t going to see his lunch period this week.


End file.
